DO YOU GIVE OFF THE WRONG SIGNALS?
Why Isn't He Interested? See If You Are Giving Off The Wrong Signals
You are cute and fun, not clingy or desperate, so what’s the deal? Do you feel like getting and keeping male attention is a puzzle that you just can’t figure out?
Maybe you are giving off the wrong signals.
ARE YOU GIVING OFF THE WRONG SIGNALS?
The worst thing about giving off the wrong signals is that you don’t even know it. You may not even recognize that you are turning guys away even as you are trying to attract them.
First, ask yourself: What is your perception of love, relationships and men? Do you think that falling in love is only a matter of time and of meeting the right man? Or do you think that almost all relationships are doomed, love is a joke and most men are jerks? If your opinion is the latter, then your negative view of relationships and men will show through any of your actions that try to contradict this underlying attitude. You may be batting your lashes, but guys are picking up other cues, both verbal and non-verbal, that you are a secret member of the “Men Suck” club. Your conscious brain can tell itself you want a romantic relationship all day long, but if deep down your subconscious brain has the opposite opinion, this older, more powerful brain will shine through every time.
Or perhaps you are being too friendly to everyone, and guys can’t tell if you are giving them the right signal or giving them the same signal as everyone else. Remember, males tend to have very fragile egos, and as a rule they prefer staying silent to risking (your) rejection. If you are treating everyone the same, they won’t be able to tell if you are interested in them or just being nice. Find a way to show that special guy that you think just that, by flirting more heavily with him and less so with the other guys around.
Maybe you are not being friendly enough. For some reason, some girls tend to think that acting rude, bitchy or too-cool-for-school gives them a higher status than others. Wrong. Humans don’t like to hang out with jerks; moreover being a snooty priss only displays the fact that like a grade-school bully, you have low self-esteem and really don’t like yourself all that much. And nothing is less attractive than a girl with no confidence.
Wrong signals are often imperceptible movements, facial expressions, gestures, tone of voice, words, and attitudes that are very hard to pin down and eliminate. The only way to truly rid yourself of giving off these wrong signals is to change the way you think. If you think you are a loser, you will give off an “I am a loser” vibe, no matter how hot you look or how funny you are. If you get your inner thoughts in line, your actions will follow.
Soon you will be giving off all the right signals – warm eye contact, relaxed smile, and an attitude that you know love is possible, but you aren’t going to force it. You want to have fun and make meaningful connections, not desperately chase a man because you are lonely. You are creating a beautiful life for yourself, and when the right guy comes along, he will be lucky- and given all the right signals.
Shilo Urban is a freelance writer who has just relocated to Los Angeles after her previous homes of Seattle, New Zealand, Paris, Maine, and Austin. She is an active member of the West Coast electronic music community and lives to promote the art that she loves and the people who create it.