We all have experiences with bad boys and jerkface men. You could probably rattle off a hundred characteristics that make a man bad.
But what characteristics make a man good? What is a good man?
Mainstream media glorifies a certain type of man that is anything but good: men with lots of money, often hanging around their necks, mansions that could house an army, fifteen slick cars and women dripping off their table in the VIP room. If your goal in life is to accumulate the most material possessions, then landing one of these men may be what you want.
But it will never be what you need. A good man is of great value to your life and is worth more than five mansions in Malibu. With such a dearth of good men these days and an overabundance of jackasses prowling the streets, sometimes it is hard to even know what to look for. If you didn’t have a good man as your father or your brother or your ex-boyfriend, you may not even be able to recognize a good man when you come across one.
Despite the plethora of bad men out there however, there are good men walking among them. You must believe that good men exist, no matter how many experiences with losers you have had that inform you otherwise. If you are looking for a mate, realize that you deserve a good man as your partner. Pay attention and don’t let the truly good ones slip through your fingers because you were blinded by some jerkface’s bling-bling.
What is a good man?
A good man not only makes you feel good about yourself, he makes you feel special and unique in this world. He makes you happy more often than not.
A good man is someone you wouldn’t mind leaving your five year-old self with.
A good man understands that men and women are equal. He is looking for a partner, not someone to take care of him and to cook his meals and clean his bathroom. A good man respects you, and respects women.
A good man has honor, a rare virtue in modern society. He respects himself and is striving to be a good person and create positive energy in the world. A good man doesn’t cheat and lie because he is afraid of being caught; rather he doesn’t cheat and lie because he is a man of honor and respects himself as such.
A good man will hold your hand, and hold you. He will hold you when you cry, hold you when you’re sick, hold you when you look like crap- and tell you that you’re beautiful.
A good man is mature. Boys will be boys, but boys aren’t men.
A good man is confident in himself and in his place in the world, enough so that he can laugh at himself. A good man has a sense of humor.
A good man has a giant heart and is kind to all, great and small. He is not only nice to those with more power who could help him out in return one day, but to small children, animals and waitresses as well. He is caring and considerate of your feelings, even when they don’t make sense.
A good man realizes that strength and self-worth come from within, not from external factors like a fast car, fat bank account or big muscles.
A good man holds the door for other people- not just for women he is trying to bed.
A good man is not afraid to show affection, because he knows that giving a hug or displaying emotions does not make him less of a man. It makes him human.
A good man splits the household chores 50/50; after all, you both ate the food and made the messes equally. A good man realizes that your time and work is just as valuable as his and does not expect you to clean up after him.
A good man is not threatened by your success, because he is successful too- or at least striving for success. A good man knows there is enough success to go around.
A good man offers his seat to old people on the bus.
A good man is your fan, and lets you know this on a regular basis with words and actions. His emotional support makes you a stronger person, which does not threaten him at all, because he sees you as a team, not as competitors.
A good man loves his mother. Men who hate their mothers either do so without reason (which is bad) or hate them for a reason (which is worse). A man who hates his mother has issues that you cannot fix.
Most of all, a good man makes you want to be a good human, to take care of yourself and to try new challenges. A good man makes you want to be a better you.
Is your man falling short on making you happy? Remember, although people can certainly change themselves, no one can ever change anyone else. You will never be able to change a man, and it is better to be alone and searching for your true match than stuck with a guy who doesn’t hold your hand, who doesn’t give his seat to old ladies on the bus, and who doesn’t make you feel like you are special. Because you are special, and you deserve a good man.
Shilo Urban is a freelance writer who has just relocated to Los Angeles after her previous homes of Seattle, New Zealand, Paris, Maine, and Austin. She is an active member of the West Coast electronic music community and lives to promote the art that she loves and the people who create it.