10 ‘CHIVALROUS’ MOVES THAT ARE MORE AWKWARD THAN AMOROUS

Learn 10 So-Called Chivalrous Moves Men Make That Turn Women Off

While any girl would love to be asked on a date to a fancy restaurant, told she is as beautiful as the night sky and then share a slice of chocolate cake under the full moon for dessert, there are some moves out there that are less ‘romantic’ and little uncomfortable. Guys may think they are being dapper and dashing, but in actuality, they are being duds.

10 SO-CALLED CHIVALROUS MOVES

Being nice and polite are always point-makers, but here are ten supposedly ‘chivalrous’ moves that make us feel more awkward than amorous:

So-Called Chivalrous Move #1: Ordering my meal for me. I know what I want to eat, and I am not five years old, so please do not order my meal for me unless for some reason I can’t talk, like if I had laryngitis. And even then, I am probably going to let you know what I want to eat.

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So-Called Chivalrous Move #2: Writing a three-page love letter on the color of my lipstick. A short poem about my beauty? Lovely. Half a novel on some minute detail of my appearance? Super creepy. Leaving it on my car windshield accompanied by a single rose? Get the heck outta dodge.

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So-Called Chivalrous Move #3: Texting/calling me every hour of the day. Although this may be considered giving us the attention that we so crave, it can turn creepy pretty quickly, especially if you’re blowing up my cell with “hey what r u doing?” when I’ve already told you I’m busy at work. Really busy. Whether you choose to believe it or not, I’m NOT by my cell waiting or expecting your text/call.

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So-Called Chivalrous Move #4: Letting me win. Whether it is Scrabble, basketball or a foot race to the car, letting me win indicates that you don’t think I could do it on my own. It is belittling and insulting. So, give it your best shot- and we’ll see who comes out on top.

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So-Called Chivalrous Move #5: Pushing in my chair. This move is just awkward. Women no longer wear giant bustles or multi-layered dresses that make it hard to move; we are quite capable of scooting in our own chairs, thank you very much.

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So-Called Chivalrous Move #6: Waiting for me outside my home. If you are a boyfriend, sure. But if you are just a suitor or someone I have gone on a few dates with, I do not want you gooning around my front door. In fact, I may call the cops.

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So-Called Chivalrous Move #7: Asking my father for my hand in marriage. It is not his to give away, but rather mine. While this is still an ongoing tradition, particularly in the South, make sure you let me know of your plans first- then if you feel the need to ask my dad for custom’s sake, go ahead. Just remember: our marriage is a deal between you and me, not you and my dad.

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So-Called Chivalrous Move #8: Never letting me pay. If I ask you out and want to pay, let me. There is no need to ambush the waiter with your credit card so you don’t have to feel the shame of a woman paying your way. I make my own money, and if I want to buy your dinner, let me. You can reciprocate next time, I promise.

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So-Called Chivalrous Move #9: Holding my purse while I shop. You might as well be holding a sign that says “whipped.” While the occasional tote of the purse while I am in the bathroom is okay, if you are carrying it around on an extended basis, you might want to consider a murse instead- it will go with the whip.

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So-Called Chivalrous Move #10: Insisting on being on the outside of the sidewalk, just in case while we are walking along, someone tries to jump me, a car hurdles the curb or a giant mud splash heads our way. I am a big girl, and walk by myself quite often with much success.

5 TRUE CHIVALROUS AND COURTEOUS MOVES

Love is grand, as are the courteous moves that go with it. But some supposedly ‘chivalrous’ moves need to go out of style like bad 80’s bangs.

However, politeness will always be in fashion. Here are five moves that will never land you in the ‘creep’ bin:

• Giving up your seat to a pregnant woman or senior citizen.

• Letting us wear your jacket when our shoulders are cold.

• Asking us out on a date.

• Opening the door for us, particularly our side of the car, particularly when it is raining.

• Being nice to our mothers.

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Shilo Urban is a freelance writer who has just relocated to Los Angeles after her previous homes of Seattle, New Zealand, Paris, Maine, and Austin. She is an active member of the West Coast electronic music community and lives to promote the art that she loves and the people who create it.