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How To Move On After A Breakup
Untitled Document

HOW TO MOVE ON FROM A BREAKUP

Get Helpful Tips On How To Move On After A Breakup

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Breakups suck. Even the most well-mannered, mutual and friendly breakup just plain sucks. Your heart physically hurts, you lay on the floor and cry, and you curse his very soul to the depths of oblivion. You know that nothing but time will heal the pain.

However there are some actions you can take to help you ease the pain, forget the pain, numb the pain and eventually- get over the pain. These are proactive behaviors that require thought, attention, and forward movement. Some methods take a minute, and you might be ready for them the day you break up. Some require more planning and may not call your name until months or years later. Be patient with yourself, love yourself above everything else, and force yourself to focus on the future and complete some of the following actions.

Tips On How To Move After A Breakup

What else are you doing? Crying into your pillow? Buck up, girlie. Life is short, and you are too precious to spend yours wallowing in misery.

Instead, why don’t you…

To move on after a breakup, GO ON A TRIP. As far as you can and as long as you can, whether that is a weekend in the desert, a month in India or a year in Spain. The longer your relationship was, the longer a trip you need to take. Go with a group, go with friends, go with a family member, or go alone. Just go. You need to radically change your environment.

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To move on after a breakup, MOVE. Long and serious relationship? Well, you always wondered what life would be like in a different city- why not move there? Relocate your life to a new home and start fresh; it is easier than it sounds. But resist the urge to go ‘back’, wherever ‘back’ is for you. And no matter what, if you are living together- move OUT. Do NOT stay in the same dwelling.

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To move on after a breakup, MAKE NEW FRIENDS. Now, please don’t ditch your old friends. But wouldn’t it be nice to meet some people who never knew your ex? Never knew you as _______ & _______? Yes, it would. Many of your old friends may only know you as half of a couple that is now extinct. Expand your social circle and make some new friends who will only know you as a strong, single female.

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To move on after a breakup, IMPROVE YOURSELF ON THE INSIDE. Sign up for classes in cooking, foreign languages, or swing dancing. Read that novel you have been meaning to, and try to stretch your brain in any way you can: new music, crossword puzzles or a trip to a museum.

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To move on after a breakup, IMPROVE YOURSELF ON THE OUTSIDE. Get in shape! This is a perfect time to start walking, running, dancing, taking aerobics, learn yoga, or jump rope in the park. Take care of your body and nourish your spirit by eating healthy foods.

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To move on after a breakup, GO INTO NATURE. Spend time in beautiful natural surroundings- beaches, mountains, and forests.Hikes over sand dunes, take long meanders through meadows, have a picnic by the ocean. Pick up rocks, pile up leaves, collect seashells on the beach, Feel the wind in your hair and the grass under your feet. You are the goddess.

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To move on after a breakup, GET RID OF HIS STUFF. You don’t have to throw it out the window (unless you want to), but box up any photos of him, mementos, that sweater of his you stole, ticket stubs, stuffed animals, jewelry, cards, letters, gifts- EVERYTHING. Put the box as far away as you feel comfortable- a top shelf in the closet, a storage unit, the trash.

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To move on after a breakup, MAKE YOUR SURROUNDINGS ENCOURAGING. In place of that lame picture of you and the ex, put up your favorite positive quotes, pictures of your next vacation destination, photos of parties with friends and posters of hot guys. Why not? You are single now, and this is your world. He was just a character, and his role is done. It's time for the starring lady to steal the show.

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To move on after a breakup, CHOCOLATE. It activates the same pleasure centers in your brain as physical stimulation. Enough said.

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To move on after a breakup, TALK TO PEOPLE. Let it out. Vent. Cry on someone’s shoulder, and accept the sympathy of your friends. But don’t abuse it- tell them to let you know when it is time to shut up about the ex, and agree to zip it when that time comes.

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To move on after a breakup, CREATE SOMETHING! The act of personal expression is liberating! Draw a landscape, paint a mural, design a garden, bake a pie, sew an apron, sculpt a ceramic urn- find your art, and indulge it!

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To move on after a breakup, GO OUT WITH FRIENDS. Your friends want to drag you out on the town; let them! Hit the happening bars and go dancing until dawn. Look up the hottest underground parties online and live it up like you are young and free. Oh wait, you are young and free!

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To move on after a breakup, GO OUT ALONE. What? Go out alone? Yes, go for lunch, go shopping, go out dancing, go to a movie, or go to the beach. You will find that not only you can be perfectly fine on your own- but you may even like the freedom to do exactly as you please!

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To move on after a breakup, DON'T THINK ABOUT HIM. Set a time, like 9PM, and simply do not let yourself think about him after that hour. During the day we are busier and occupied with other people, but as the evening wears on towards an empty bed, thoughts can turn to warmer and happier nights. Cut yourself off from miserable thoughts.

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To move on after a breakup, KEEP BUSY. Work, study, go dancing, take classes, go for a walk, go to church, spend time with your grandmother, get an extra job, indulge your hobbies, go to the ballet, clean your house, sing karaoke and do whatever else you can possibly think of to keep your hands, head and heart busy.

AND FIVE THINGS NOT TO DO TO TRY AND MOVE ON:

  • Contact him.

  • Get a dog because you’re lonely.

  • Accept anyone and everyone into your arms just to fill them.

  • Escape in alcohol and drugs. Why hurt yourself over him?

  • Stalk his new girlfriend.

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Shilo Urban is a freelance writer who has just relocated to Los Angeles after her previous homes of Seattle, New Zealand, Paris, Maine, and Austin. She is an active member of the West Coast electronic music community and lives to promote the art that she loves and the people who create it.



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