Learn What He's Really Trying to Say with his Body Language!
The male psyche is a riddle to many women who spend hours trying to figure out if a man will call, or what he is thinking, or what was he thinking, usually in vain.
Luckily for us, however, the male body is an open book. Before humans evolved the ability to speak, we communicated through body movements and actions, and we still retain the skills to read each other’s nonverbal cues. In fact, you already understand more than you know. When you meet someone that you instantly don’t like or to whom you have a negative gut reaction, most likely you are reading his body language and computing it on a subconscious level.
HOW TO READ A MAN'S BODY LANGUAGE
Anyone can become an expert at understanding body language; all it takes is a little knowledge and a lot of attention and observation. Reading nonverbal communication can clue you into a male’s intentions and feelings, so when his words don’t make sense, you can look at his feet, hands or face to find the truth.
Although you can spend a lifetime learning to understand what guys aren’t saying, here are a few quick tips to put you on the path towards greater enlightenment in regards to the male gender.
READING HIS BODY LANGUAGE TIP #1: FEET
The easiest way to begin understanding nonverbal language is to start with the feet, which are an open book to the body. The feet are the most honest part of a person’s body. Feet don’t lie, and the direction they are pointed indicates the true desires of their owner. If you are talking to a guy who has both feet pointed away from you, he is not into the conversation and would rather just leave. One foot pointed away and one towards you? He is conflicted and considering escaping the situation. Both feet pointed at you? Game on.
Feet can also indicate happiness. Moving, bouncing, dancing feet signify a happy person, as does rocking back and forth on the heels. Is your man standing with his toes in the air and his heels on the floor? That is one happy boy.
Foot touching is also a very important part of relationships. Think about whose feet you touch with your feet: not many, right? We only foot-touch with people we love, and the amount of foot cuddling is an accurate barometer of the health of your relationship. If you and your boyfriend are not touching feet as much as you used to, this can be a very inauspicious sign for the future of the relationship.
Hands can also give away a guy’s true feelings. Are his hands in his pockets or otherwise hiding from you during a conversation? Then he is not telling you the whole truth and is hiding something as well.
Arms in the air are another universal symbol of happiness; humans just don’t put their hands above their head when they are unhappy. And the more you move those arms and hands, the happier you are.
Humans also use their hands for pacifying gestures when they are stressed. When you hear bad news, you might rub your face or scratch your neck or touch your nose; these small touches actually lower blood pressure and calm you down. Like bad news, lying also causes stress, and a liar will use many pacifying gestures while speaking to try and keep himself from getting too worked up. So, if you ask your boyfriend where he was last night and he rubs the back of his neck before replying…you are not getting the whole story.
Who hasn’t been fooled by a smiling charmer? Humans have control of our facial expressions and often use them to conceal our true intentions. The most useful facial features to observe when reading body language are the eyes, truly the windows of the soul.
Eye contact is healthy and the number one way to flirt (with physical contact and flattery right behind). However, prolonged eye contact that is more like a stare is a sign that a male is trying to subdue you in some way; this is the same behavior that predators use in the wild. So while a lack of eye contact is worrisome and denotes shiftiness and insecurity, too much eye contact can indicate negative intentions.
A man’s stance can tell you a lot about his confidence level. Is he standing straight, with his arms at the side and chest puffed out? If so, he is displaying his available status and trying to get noticed. On the other hand, standing with arms crossed or shoulders hunched is a good sign that a male does not have his A-game on and is backing away from female interaction.
When a man stands with his feet spread and hands grasped behind the back, he is feeling powerful and in control, maybe even dominant. Soldiers, policemen, and bouncers often utilize this stance to project an aura of confidence and might. This is a very authoritarian gesture.
Guys who take up the most room with their bodies and gestures have the highest status of the group- so keep an eye out for the man living largely, as he as probably the alpha male and good for at least a look even if you aren’t in the market.
Learning to read body language can give you insight into your relationships and other human beings that words cannot convey, whether he is your long-term boyfriend or a stranger at a party. Pay attention to what his body is saying, and soon he will be wondering if you read his mind.
Shilo Urban is a freelance writer who has just relocated to Los Angeles after her previous homes of Seattle, New Zealand, Paris, Maine, and Austin. She is an active member of the West Coast electronic music community and lives to promote the art that she loves and the people who create it.