Learn Why You Should Never Have to Settle In a Relationship
"How can I feel so alone when there are so many people around?" That is the quote that was written on the stairwell of my college dorm 25 years ago. I totally related to it as a freshman, and still think about it now.
New York University (NYU), being in Manhattan, is always a center of activity and there are masses of people everywhere. As a newbie to the city, I knew no one, and had yet to connect with others that I felt a chemistry or kinship with - my roommates had no clue how to do laundry!! How was I supposed to connect with them?
DON’T BECOME ANOTHER STATISTIC
The truth is loneliness is about being alone, as in no one being around you. Feeling alone is when people are around you, but you feel no warmth, intimacy or connection. So, whether you are in a big city, or in the “wrong” relationship, you can feel alone. The sad thing is that many women stay in relationships for years where they feel alone! Maybe they feel that "No one else will love them," or cannot bear to think of spending an evening or weekend without a boyfriend. What would they do if they did not have a boyfriend to make them "miserable?" Hmmm, maybe they would start a new job, hobby or exercise routine. But, instead of moving on, they become comfortably uncomfortable. Sometimes they even marry Mr. "Well you are better than nothing." Months or years go by; they lose the spring in their step, the glow in their complexion, and the sparkle in their eyes. Then, one day they meet a new guy who they sense a connection with, and finally, the relationship that should have ended years ago does, and the married couple becomes a divorce statistic.
NEVER FEEL ALONE AGAIN
OK, enough sad stuff. Let's rise above this scenario. Let's make sure the guy we attach ourselves to makes our heart smile. DATE, DATE, DATE. Let me say that again. DATE, DATE, DATE. And no, not every date will make your heart sing or get you excited about LOVE. Some dates will be down right excruciating! Some will make you question why you took the time to put make-up on. When you do find a keeper, you will know because of all the ones that did not work out!
Let's get rid of all our preconceived notions and move forward with a new sense of dating purpose! Go, Girls, Go!
Ranee Alison Spina is a nationally known relationship researcher and leadership speaker who has appeared on radio and TV stations across the country. Her book I AM before “I DO,” received the USA Book News National Book Award. Email questions, comments or feedback to: firstname.lastname@example.org
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