LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOUR FRIENDSLearn How To Sustain A Bonding Relationship With Your Closest Friends
The number one thing that causes relationships to suffer is because someone does not feel loved and appreciated. The top reason that husbands cheat on their wives is not because another woman was hotter or they were bored with their life at home- it’s because they felt unappreciated. To safeguard your special relationships, you must love and appreciate your friends and let them know it on a frequent basis by your words and actions. You may think that your friends already know this. Didn’t you thank him profusely for the party he hosted last fall? Doesn’t she see you smiling and nodding when she gives you a ride to the store once again? Yes. But you can’t just thank someone once a year and think that is enough to sustain a relationship of mutual respect and appreciation. We often think we are communicating well our gratitude, but in general humans aren’t as good of communicators as we think we are. To keep your relationships from curdling in the sour milk of expectations and the feeling of “being taken for granted,” you must take a very proactive approach towards expressing your appreciation. Tell your loved ones often how much you appreciate what they do. Not only for special things they do like throwing you a surprise party or buying you a drink, but –and this is very important- make sure they know how much you appreciate them for the things they are “supposed” to do. Does he hold the door for you every time? Then thank him every time. Never stop doing so just because you think he is “supposed” to be doing this and the gratitude is extraneous. Words of thanks are never wasted. Perhaps you have a friend you call fairly often to hash out your love life and pep you up. Thank her for this in words, and give her a little gift of gratitude now and then, even if it is a token and not worth much monetarily. The value lies outside of the price tag. But wait- isn’t she your friend, and isn’t this what friends DO? Listen to each other’s troubles and give counsel? Not quite- this is what good friends do, and if you want to continue this relationship that is obviously beneficial to you, you must make it beneficial for her too. You must show her with words and actions that you do not take her friendship for granted, that you consider her special and are very thankful that she is in your life. What have you done lately to show the people you love and appreciate that you love and appreciate them? Never assume that just because you think something that other people know you are thinking it. If you love and appreciate your friends, prove it with your words and actions- and you will nourish the relationship so it can continue to flower and grow.
Shilo Urban is a freelance writer who has just relocated to Los Angeles after her previous homes of Seattle, New Zealand, Paris, Maine, and Austin. She is an active member of the West Coast electronic music community and lives to promote the art that she loves and the people who create it. |
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